continued — While we were waiting for the immigration officer, an older man came by in a small boat with an outboard motor. His name is Alofi and he was selling jewelry. He invited us to a feast he was putting on this evening. We had read about Tongan Feasts and a cruising guide advised us to never turn one down. He promised lots of food and was very pushy about us attending. We were tired from the passage, and said we’d go before we found out the price, which was $30 each USD. It seemed high, but he was so pushy and promised so much that we didn’t bargain on price. He asked for some coke and invited himself inside. He told us he would meet us at the dinghy dock at 17:00.

We left the dock and picked up a mooring ball. According to the charts, we were moored on land. By the time we got Kosmos situated, it was time to go. We left Kosmos at 5 minutes to 17:00. Alofi had talked another cruiser into giving him a ride to our boat and they were waiting outside for us to make sure we were really coming. The fact that he had pushed his way inside Kosmos earlier and was so eager to make sure we left Kosmos made us nervous. We made sure everything was locked tight.

We were under the impression that many people would be at this “feast”, but when we got into the minivan, it was just the two of us. Alofi said no one else was coming. We went to his house. We were seated on a mat on the floor. Alofi’s daughter brought out a plate of food for each of us with a piece of fried chicken, fried fish, a pork rib, two hot dogs and some fried plantains. She also brought out a big plate of lobster for us to share. We were given a fork, but no knife, so you needed to use your hands. We also did not get any napkins. Alofi cracked the lobster for us, and Christi was grossed out that he was handling her food with unwashed hands. He also gave us the portion of the tail with the bladder gunk and expected us to eat it. He said it was good. For dessert we got a small bowl of papaya and coconut milk and a small bowl of bananas and coconut milk. The food was OK, but not good. Definitely not as much variety of food as Alofi had built it up to be. He had also made it sound like there was going to be unlimited beer, but he provided only one each.

Alofi ate with us and his daughter watched. The entire meal he was non-stop trying to sell us stuff. Jewelry. Clothing. Fruit. Bread. Powdered beer. Flags. Tapa art. Tours around the island. Laundry services. The CD of church music that was in the CD player. He was incredibly pushy and insistent. Between the not so good food and the annoying guy who wouldn’t stop harping on us for two seconds about buying stuff, it was an overall bad experience. We were eager to get out of there. Eric agreed to get the powdered beer and a flag for Vanuatu (we needed the flag, anyway) to get him off our backs. Alofi threw in two string necklaces with a little turtle pendant for free. Here we are trying on skirts and the turtle necklaces (men traditionally wear a wrap around skirt called a tapenu in Tonga).

We had to walk back, which really irked Christi since he had said transportation was included in the price. It was actually a nice walk, though a little long, but it was the point of the matter. There are a lot of dogs, pigs and chickens roaming the streets.

On the way back from Alofi’s we stopped by the market, which sells both produce and handicrafts. Turns out the powdered Tongan beer is really Kava, which we had suspected. Alofi had adamantly denied that it was Kava. Kava is a ground up root of the kava plant, a pepper species. The grounds are put in water. Kava is an anesthetic and analgesic, a mild tranquilizer, an antibacterial and antifungal agent, a diuretic, appetite suppressant, and a soporific. Needless to say, it has a drug like effect when drank. Kava is incredibly popular in most of the Pacific Islands, though you don’t see much of it in French Polynesia. We had paid Alofi quadruple the going price. We also saw the same necklaces for half the price he had quoted us.

We also stopped by the Aquarium restaurant and internet café and bought a wi-fi card. Much to or joy, Kosmos appears to be exactly as we left her. We are also happy to report that the wi-fi works, though is painfully slow. Eric tried the Kava. Eric didn’t like it. Christi wouldn’t touch it.